Weird Advice for Living in Turkey – Tip No 1

Never let a workman on your roof.

All workmen in Turkey have a fearless head for heights and a heavy boot for wrecking your roof.  Any workman who insists he needs to get on your roof to fix a satellite dish/move a satellite dish/inspect your solar tanks or generally just enjoy the view should be encouraged to think of another way.

If you do let a workman on your roof be prepared for leaks when the rains come.  Not only will he crack tiles made brittle in the blazing sun by stomping over your roof like Godzilla after a virgin but he will not own a ladder of his own and so will gain access to the roof by various means including pole vaulting from a neighbouring roof and his athletic and fearless but essentially chaotic scramble onto the roof will dislodge those tiles he doesn’t break.

If a workman must gain access to your roof at least nail him to floor whilst you go in search of a ladder.  The innate enthusiasm of all workmen in Turkey means they won’t want to wait for something as expensively boring as a ladder when there are exciting tasks like shinning manfully up walls whilst encouraged by friends and drawing admiring oohs from passing women.  But make him wait and go and find a ladder, it will minimise the damage.

So, try and get your satellite dish fixed to a wall so roof access is never needed, find a sensible and soft footed person to manage any solar tank maintenance and invest in your own ladder or you will spend next winter listening to the gentle plink plonk of rain water into buckets in your bedroom.

Owning your own ladder comes with the added benefit of attracting baked goods as thank you gifts from people you lend it to – another handy tip!
posted 29-05-2010